Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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