Sry I called you an 8
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
