I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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