3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
