He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
