if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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