Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think your dad took our porno
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
