This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
