just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
