Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
