If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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