my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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