if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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