I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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