i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
