I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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