Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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