What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he thought i was a dude.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
