i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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