Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
