My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
