I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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