soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
