i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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