So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I AM VODKA MAN
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
