and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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