I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
