i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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