"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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