It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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