hotel room ftw
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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