yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
