I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
