Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
