I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
