Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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