I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize