Define "chronic" masturbator.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
