no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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