CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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