Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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