You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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