I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize