Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
