Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
