I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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