stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
whose parrot is this?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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