You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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