and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
