Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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