Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
