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My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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