Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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