dude i'm inner monologue high
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
