if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
