She said her name was "party"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
