So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
