Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
