Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
