Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
