Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
